Secondly, I should be writing a research paper on the death of the American Dream that is due tomorrow, but instead I'm choosing to procrastinate.
Relationships. As a 16 year old, I should have one or two good ones under my belt. But instead, I'm stuck with a tattered ego and an even worse reputation. For all of you mature readers (of which I doubt there are any), "talking" is a term teenagers use for flirting. That usually consists of constant comments or messages on myspace and facebook and even more text messages because, let's face it, we're too insecure to speak to someone we kind of like. Am I right?
Well my last relationship was interesting enough. Think best guy friend turned boyfriend turned clingy. The girl is supposed to be clingy right? Wrong. I was his first girlfriend, first kiss, first boob grab. It was interesting. I'm not saying I didn't like it. I loved it. He was amazing. But in all actuality, you should probably never date your best friend, especially when the feeling isn't entirely mutual. I'm not saying I didn't like him, but I had a problem with completely opening up to him. Sure, I had told him about my escapades at the local venues; the drugs I had done, the men who had liked me but just because he asked and just because someone told him about my adventures. But soon after our declaration of exclusivism, I realized that I definitely didn't want to come home and have to talk to someone about my day. I still love him as a friend even if he doesn't love me back (think deletion from myspace and facebook). A recent adventure to Santa Cruz yesterday changed my perception about love and relationships. As I watched my friend Victoria and her boyfriend Chris of almost 2 years, I realized relationships aren't easy. You have to really care for that person and love their crazy albeit annoying quirks. You have to give yourself to that person ultimately and love them unconditionally. Not only that, but we're still young.
You may already know this, but my eyes weren't entirely opened until yesterday (my friends would say this is because my eyes are always half way closed due to my Japanese decent).
So before I go, I'd like to apologize that this post wasn't completely eloquent or profound but what can you do when you have finger vomit? (When one just types something without thinking about it)
What will tomorrow bring?
